On my travels to Asia I have been reminded how sensitive one must be when advising, mentoring, and discipling men.

All men everywhere are the same. They are cautious. They are slow to reveal what’s really going on. They don’t think people really care about them (because in many cases they don’t).

Most men are not in touch with their emotions. They don’t know how to express and process their feelings very well, if at all.

Men generally don’t ask for help. But when they do want help, they don’t know how to ask for it. And if they do ask for help, they rarely tell you everything.

Men keep secrets. Not because they are evil, but because they are ashamed. They don’t realize that every other man is also struggling with something.

After talking personally with thousands of men over 40 years, here is my conclusion: No man is completely happy with himself, and every man has some pain or long-term struggle that he would be embarrassed for others to know about.

This means that every man needs a friend. Every man needs to be loved. Every man needs to be set free by the gospel of Jesus. Every man needs to know that he is not alone.

It’s worth a reminder: Every man you meet needs ministry, even if he is the most spiritual man you have ever met.

And if you let a man know that you care – really care – it will still take many visits before he will feel comfortable sharing the secrets of his heart, whether joys or sorrows. And then only if you are willing to listen without giving an overly quick reply.

Until we reach every man…

Patrick Morley, PhD
Executive Chairman, Man in the Mirror

My worst day with Jesus has been infinitely better than my best day without Him.