We first look for the good or the bad in other people, and first think about the good or the bad in ourselves. This sets up four types of relationships:
I'm good/you're good: I see the good in myself, and I first think the best of and for you. As a result, I have healthy relationships.
I'm good/you're bad: I see the good in myself, but I think the worst of you. I don't see your struggles, understand why you are the way you are, and I lack compassion for you.
I'm bad/you're good: I first see the bad in myself, but I see the good in you. My self image has taken a beating. I have an inferiority complex.
I'm bad/you're bad: I first see the bad in myself, and I see the worst in you. I am miserable, and I want you to be miserable too.
How did you fare? No matter how we end up with dysfunctional relationships, through discipleship we can change.
Self-examination is the first step. We need to "own" who we are and repent. Then, prayerfully and with the help of brothers through the power of the Holy Spirit, we can be transformed.
Otherwise, all relationships eventually spiral downward. A third-party is required to think the best of others and ourselves.
Until every church disciples every man...