Porn, God, and the Voices in Your Head

Guest post by Sam Black, Covenant Eyes

There are many Christian men who have promised God, themselves, and their wives that they would never use pornography again. But often, they find themselves enticed and captured again by this sin.

More than half of all born-again, married Christian men say they view pornography monthly. And 77% of 18- to 30-year-old Christian men view porn monthly. You may find yourself in this ongoing struggle.

Two Common Attitudes About Porn

Burdened by shame, feelings of defeat, and a continuing hunger of lust, you may ask, “Can God love me? Has my sin separated me from God?” Obviously, you don’t feel as close to Him. After episodes of using porn, you likely avoid prayer or Bible reading. You may be emotionally empty in church, or carry a sense of being unworthy. You may feel so ashamed that you run and hide just as Adam did in the Garden of Eden. Your inner voice is condemning you: “Sinner! Why would God love you?”

Others may ask, “Doesn’t God just overlook my sins because of His grace?” This question grows out of a view that God simply ignores when we willfully practice sin, because all of our sins from the present, past, and future are all forgiven through the price Christ paid on the cross. So, using pornography isn’t such a big deal. After all, we are not perfect, God knows we can’t be, and so repentance is unnecessary and we should not feel convicted of sinful acts.

Both views are wrong… and eerily express half-truths. It is the half-truth in these views that we must flee in order to grow and mature and to kill sin. We must change our questions. The real questions we must ask are more poignant, more grace-filled, and more thankful.

Ask this: “God loves me so much that Christ poured out his life on the cross to forgive my sins. Do my actions in life, in thought, and in my relationships reflect how thankful I am? Does my life, even my life behind closed doors, reflect that I love God?

The Key to Purity: Thankfulness

Here is the truth: God loves you beyond measure and covers the repentant heart in his grace. How thankful are you for His mercy and love?

Paul reminds us in Ephesians 5:3-4, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.” (Italics added.)

The majority of this verse is pretty straightforward, but it’s pretty easy to gloss over the words greed in the first sentence and thanksgiving in the second sentence. Dr. Heath Lambert, in his book “Finally Free, Fighting for Purity with the Power of Grace,” points out that God forbids “greed” to strengthen His command against sexual immorality, and He urges us in “thanksgiving” to spur us to healthy action.

Does your love for God spur you to healthy action? Do you know what actions will help you in your pursuit of thankfulness and purity?

Though you can find many more, allow me to suggest just two actions you can take today to begin aligning your heart to be more thankful…and, yes, pure.

1.      Fight Lust with Faith.

Your time in reading the Bible and in prayer will impact how you think, redirect a wandering heart, and develop a spirit of thankfulness. Stressed? Angry? Worried? Lonely? Porn is often used as a short-term fix, but God provides a true escape (1 Cor. 10:13). Devotionals are a great way to start and stay on track with God’s daily inspiration.

Run to God always, when you feel strong, when you are weak, when you feel worthy and when you are sinful. Hiding from God is pointless, 1 John 1 tells us we have sin and we are to confess our sins. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9

John reminds us that he tells us these things, “so that you may not sin.” He commands us to live in the light. “By this we know that we are in Him: the one who says he abides in Him ought to walk in the same manner as He walked.”

2.      Be Accountable

Spend time with a Godly mentor or friend, and confess your battle with sin. Be specific, be consistent, and make it gospel-centered. When and where do you struggle with pornography? Is it after an argument with your wife? Is it late at night? Is it on your smartphone?

Set up Covenant Eyes Internet Accountability on all your devices, and ask your friend to receive your Covenant Eyes report that shows how you use the Internet. Just taking that first step will inspire you rethink what you do online and offline. Keep the conversation going by using accompanying Covenant Eyes guides for an accountability relationship.

These are just two first steps you can take to fight pornography temptation and to cultivate a thankful heart. This is the beginning, an essential starting point to listen to the right voices in your head and make meaningful change. You can truly be free. Many more free resources are available to help you in your journey at www.covenanteyes.com/ebooks.


Man in the Mirror is proud to partner with Covenant Eyes to help you and the men you are discipling battle the temptations related to pornography and lust and victory through Christ.