When I’m speaking with a man who facilitates a small group, leads a men’s ministry, or pastors a church, I often advise him to assume he will have a man for three years—three years to influence, invest in, and disciple him.

“During that time,” I ask, “what lessons are so important to build into his life that if he leaves without them, you would feel like you had failed him?”

These are the lessons I want to share with you. Over the next two years, I’ll be using these weekly emails to introduce what I think—based on decades of experience—are the 70 things every man needs to know. For each one, I’ll also provide you with a few points you can use for reflection and discussion!

Feel free to use these as personal devotions for your own growth or in your leadership meetings, men’s groups, adult education classes, home groups, Bible studies, worship services, counseling, or over coffee or a meal. You have my permission to forward, copy, reproduce, post, or redistribute in any way that helps you and other men grow. First up this week—

ABIDING IN CHRIST

Do you know the difference between abiding in Christ and striving for Christ?

Almost all of us have grown up in performance-based cultures with the underlying message: If you perform, you get a reward. And if you don’t, you’re a loser.

Unfortunately, unless men are intentionally (and repeatedly) discipled into the gospel of grace, they will inevitably revert to what the culture glorifies. This is exactly the problem the Apostle Paul was addressing in the book of Galatians: “But now that you know God—or rather are known by God—how is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserable forces? Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again?” (Galatians 4:9).

To abide in Christ means to hold to His teachings; Jesus said that if we do that, then we are really His disciples (see John 8:31). Furthermore, by abiding in Him, we bear much fruit, showing ourselves to be His disciples (see John 15:8).

Whether you’re reflecting on this principle in your own life or talking to another man about it, here’s a story that demonstrates the difference between abiding in Christ and striving for Christ:

The bills had arrived faster than income for several months. For several weeks Tom had not slept well. The stress was excruciating. And now, an unpaid vendor was chewing him out as he quietly listened. His heart was heavy as he placed the phone back in its cradle. This was the first time in his career that Tom had creditors calling to ask when he could pay. Discouraged, he shut his door, slipped to his knees, and began to pray.

“Dear God, I owe you an apology. Somehow, I have taken over the ownership of this company. I know it really belongs to you, and I am sorry. I’m not doing too well. I’m stressed out, I’m not sleeping, I’m grouchy at home, and I’m neglecting my family. Right now, by faith, I am giving you back your company.

“Now, over there on my desk you have a pile of unpaid bills. I am going to trust that if you want this organization to continue that you will find a way to get them paid.

“In a moment, since I do trust you, I am going to get up, go home, have a nice meal, enjoy my children, and stop worrying about whether or not you want your company to succeed. Amen.”

You wouldn’t be surprised to learn that things turned around over the next few days, would you? They did.

Tom had learned the difference between abiding in Christ and striving for Christ. May it be true or true again for us all!