17. Disciple-Making

I quit high school in my senior year and joined the Army. What could cause so much pain that a boy on the threshold of manhood would spiral that far out of control?

The answer is sad but simple. My dad grew up in a home with a single mom. He had no dad or male role model who ever took him under their wing to show him the ropes.

As a result, Dad was never equipped—or discipled—how to be a godly man, husband, and father. So, Dad repeated the cycle, and no one ever took me under their wing to show me the ropes either. Like my dad before me, I was left to “guess” what it meant to be a man.

That’s unfortunate because the root cause of virtually every problem is a man who is failing. Let’s test that:

– Can you imagine getting the world right if we don’t get the church right?
– Can we get the church right if we don’t get families right?
– Can we get families right if we don’t get marriages right?
– And can we get marriages right if we don’t get men right?

It really is about the men. Yet no man wakes up thinking, How can I neglect my kids, irritate my wife, or fail my friends today? Yet without guidance, many men find themselves stuck or even losing the battle.

There is one, and only one, way for us to win the battle for our souls. It’s simple and concrete: we need to become a disciple of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Discipleship is the process by which we become civilized; the process by which we become the men God created us to be. Discipleship is not behavior modification; its heart transformation. The goal is to change the core affections of our hearts.

 Evangelism without discipleship is cruel. When men are evangelized but not discipled, it’s like enlisting them in the Army and issuing them a rifle they never learn to clean or shoot. They will not be of much value on the day of battle.

What It Means to Be a Disciple

A disciple is someone called to live “in” Christ (evangelism), equipped to live “like” Christ (teaching), and sent to live “for” Christ (love, abide, serve). These three aspects—living in, like, and for Christ—are practical and actionable. Your spiritual transformation hinges on understanding and embracing this process.

Discipleship happens in many ways: through sermons, Bible studies, adult education classes, one-on-one mentoring, serving others, and being part of a small group. 

Most of the really big ideas about Christianity take 10 to 20 years to sink in. Spiritual growth is a process that takes time and repeated exposure to the truth. For example, think about the first time Jesus calmed the storm. His disciples asked, “What kind of man is this? Even the winds and waves obey him!” (Matthew 8:27). But by the second time, they exclaimed, “Truly you are the Son of God!” and worshiped Him (Matthew 1433).Be patient and kind to yourself.

Steps You Can Take

You are not meant to figure this out alone. If you’re unsure about your next steps, find a mentor or a trusted Christian friend. Say something like, “I want to become a better disciple and follower of Jesus. Would you show me the ropes?” Discipleship is one man taking another man under his wing, walking alongside him, and showing him the ropes.

Learn to read the Bible for yourself, join a small group, and serve others. A Bible, a small group, and serving someone else will solve 90% of your problems.

Jesus is the perfect example of manhood. The more you know Him, the more you will understand yourself. So get with another guy or a group of guys and do life together. You could study one of my books (they all have discussion questions) or lead a study group together and let me teach them the Bible while you lead them in a discussion after the teaching. (We’ve just started The Man in the Mirror Book Study).

Discipleship is God’s plan A to release the power of His gospel on every problem you and every other man on the planet face. There is no plan B. Regardless of how you got into your current situation, God’s only solution is to disciple you out.

Much love,
Pat

Reflection Questions

1. What steps are you taking to grow as a disciple of Jesus?

2. How can today’s description of disciple-making and steps you can take help you become more fully alive in Jesus?

3. Who in your life could you ask to walk alongside you in your spiritual journey? Or, if applicable, who can you invite to be part of a group you lead?