One day Logan sent me an email asking, “Pat, what is the most important thing a man can do in his relationship with God?”

Since we had a publishing relationship, I wasn’t quite sure if he was asking for professional or personal reasons. So I replied, “Who wants to know, and why?”

He wrote back, “Me.”

I then asked, “Well, how do you see it? What do the Scriptures say about what is the most important thing a man can do in his life?”

I’ve posed that same question to large groups and asked them to shout out their answers, which always cover the gamut: love, service, obedience, worship, prayer, faithfulness, reading the Bible, and so on. How about you? How do you see it?

Thankfully, Jesus has not left us to answer this question to the best of our ability. In Mark 12:28, a teacher of the law—impressed by Jesus’ answers to other questions—asked essentially the same thing as Logan: “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”

Jesus gave a singular, powerful answer: “The most important one is this: … ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength’” (Mark 12:29–30). Today, it’s often referred to as the “Great Commandment.”

Three Takeaways from the Great Commandment

I see three things in this text about loving God that slots in at #42 on my list of 70 things every man needs to know: clarity, intensity, and relationship—

• Clarity: From the pantheon of good things we can do—service, obedience, generosity, prayer—loving God towers above them all. It is the most important thing we can do.
• Intensity: Jesus didn’t tell us to love God casually. We are to love God with the totality of our being, every ounce of our energy, and the sum of our strength. We should bring an intensity to loving God. The Great Commandment calls for wholehearted devotion.
• Relationship: Loving God isn’t a task to complete. It’s a relationship to enjoy! And Jesus illustrated this truth beautifully in the story of Mary and Martha that we read about in Luke 10:38-41.

How to Love God Personally

Martha, who had a sister named Mary, opened her home to Jesus and His disciples. Martha was the “good sister”—the responsible one. She was the one, we’re told, who took care of all the preparations that had to be made. The Greek word for “preparations” (“serving” in KJV) is diakonia, part of the word family from which we get deacon. Obviously, serving is a very important part of Christian life, and Martha excelled at serving.

Meanwhile, Mary was content to sit at the feet of Jesus, “listening to what He said” (verse 39). The Greek word logos is used here—translated as she “heard his word” in the KJV—that makes clear she was listening to the spiritual teaching of Jesus.

Martha, however, was in the kitchen making dinner. The text says that “Martha was distracted by all the preparations [diakonia]” (verse 40). Making dinner for Jesus seems like such an opportunity. What wouldn’t you give, pay, trade, or barter for such a moment? But distractions often come disguised as opportunities.

Frustrated, Martha asked Jesus to tell Mary to help in the kitchen. But Jesus answered, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her” (Luke 10:41–42).

Jesus gives us an inviting model for how we can fulfill the Great Commandment:

• For Jesus, the relationship is more important than the task. In fact, the relationship is the task.
• Mary first (logos). There will be plenty of time for Martha (diakonia). And the way of Mary will accomplish what the way of Martha will miss.

Teach Your Men This

If you’re a men’s leader or pastor, teach them that the most important thing is to love God with their whole heart, soul, mind, and strength. Give them clarity. Inspire intensity. And show them that loving God this way is a relationship to enjoy.

Tell your men—and yourself—that it’s okay to just sit and listen at Jesus’ feet. We don’t have to do something to be good enough to receive acceptance and love. All we have to do is show up. Jesus did not say, “Come unto me and I will give you more work to do” but rather “I will give you rest” (see Matthew 11:28).

Do you need to say to a man who is putting a lot of pressure on himself or others: “You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed”? Or do you perhaps need to remind yourself of Jesus’ words today?

Pastors and leaders, how much would it improve the climate of your church to teach: “Brothers and sisters, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Choose the better, and it will not be taken away from you”?

Mary first. There will be plenty of time for Martha.

Always on your side,

Pat

Discussion and Reflection Questions

1. When you think about your own walk with God, which approach comes more naturally to you—Mary’s or Martha’s? How can this self-awareness help you?
2. What “distractions disguised as opportunities” might be keeping you from sitting quietly at the feet of Jesus?
3. How might your love for God deepen if you made space each day simply to be with Him rather than to do for Him?

P.S. Please forward the special Christmas offer below to your pastor this week. They can get a complementary review copy of the book here.