Evan flew to Texas to spend the day making sales calls with one of his salesmen, Steve. At the end of the day, Steve walked Evan into the airport so he could catch his flight home.

As they were saying goodbye, Steve looked at him and said, “Evan, it’s amazing the way you sell our product. You’re brilliant. But as smart as you are, you baffle me. You don’t have a clue about where you came from, you don’t have a clue about where you’re going, and you don’t have a clue about your purpose in life.” Evan boarded the plane, but he couldn’t escape those words. For months, they echoed in his mind.

No man wakes up one morning and wants to waste his life. Men don’t set out to neglect their marriages, drift from God, lose their purpose, or become spiritually stagnant. Yet many do.

Why? Because they lead unexamined lives.

Life on Autopilot 

An unexamined life—#65 on my list of 70 things every man needs to know—is a life lived on autopilot. It’s rushing from task to task, meeting to meeting, obligation to obligation, without ever calling a timeout to ask the deeper questions.

• Who am I?
• Why am I here?
• Where am I going?
• What does God want from me?
• Am I becoming the man God created me to be?
• What could my life look like if I were fully alive?

The Bible repeatedly calls us to stop and examine ourselves. Lamentations 3:40 says, “Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord” (NIV).

Notice that self-examination is not an end in itself. The goal isn’t endless introspection; it’s returning to the Lord. The purpose of examining our lives is to discover whether we are walking with God or drifting from Him.

So, what happened to Evan? Here’s the rest of the story. During those many months that Steve’s words echoed in his mind, Evan began to ask the deeper questions. Those questions paved the way for him to attend an evangelistic event, and he gave his life to Jesus.

Two months later, at only forty-four years old, Evan suffered a heart attack and needed bypass surgery. Yet he was filled with an incredible sense of peace. His schoolteacher wife, Tracie, on the other hand, was a wreck.

The night before surgery, over dinner, Evan took her hand and repeated the words he had heard months earlier: “Tracie, you’re amazing when it comes to education. You’re brilliant. But as smart as you are, you baffle me. You don’t have a clue about where you came from, you don’t have a clue about where you are going, and you don’t have a clue about your purpose in life.”

Those words cut to the chase because they address the deepest questions every human being must eventually answer. The tragedy is that many men never do.

Instead, they get caught in what Thoreau described as “lives of quiet desperation.” They work hard, pay bills, attend church occasionally, watch sports, mow the lawn, raise children, and eventually retire. Yet underneath it all, many are carrying a nagging sense that something is missing.

Quiet Drift

When I talk about the “men problem,” much of what I mean can be traced back to the issue of quiet drift.

• Men often live busy lives but rarely reflective lives.
• They know how to make a living but not necessarily how to build a life.
• They know how to solve practical problems but not always how to address the deeper issues of identity, purpose, meaning, and spiritual formation.
• Gradually, they drift toward cultural Christianity rather than biblical Christianity, adopting the values of the surrounding culture while retaining only a thin veneer of religious belief.

The consequences of this are dramatic. But drift itself is the natural direction of an unexamined life. A boat left unattended doesn’t remain stationary; it drifts. A garden left unattended doesn’t flourish; it grows weeds. And a soul left unattended doesn’t thrive; it slowly wanders.

Jesus said that the thief comes “to steal and kill and destroy,” but that He came so we might have life and have it abundantly (see John 10:10). The enemy’s strategy for this is often remarkably simple. He doesn’t have to destroy a man overnight. He only needs to keep him distracted long enough to avoid asking the important questions.

That’s why one of the most powerful spiritual disciplines is simply stopping long enough to attend our souls:

• How am I really doing?
• What is happening in my soul?
• Am I becoming more like Jesus?
• What patterns need to change?
• Where do I need to repent?
• What next step is God asking me to take?
• How can I become fully alive in Jesus?

Looking in the Mirror

These questions require courage because they may reveal things we’d rather not see. And while a mirror cannot change a man, it can show him what is true. And that creates the opportunity for transformation.

That’s why discipleship is often little more than holding up a mirror. We help men see themselves honestly, see God clearly, and then take the next step of obedience.

Leading an examined life is not about perfection. It’s about paying attention. It’s about refusing to drift. It’s about regularly returning to the God who knows who you are, why you exist, and who He created you to become.

Plato said more than 2,000 years ago, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Those words remain just as relevant today.

But the examined life? That is where transformation begins.

Are you rowing in the right direction, or drifting in the wrong direction?

Always on your side,

Pat

For Reflection and Discussion

• Heart (Reflection): What area of your life have you carefully examined, and how has that served you well?
• Head (Understanding): Why do you think Scripture places such a strong emphasis on self-examination as part of spiritual growth?
• Hands (Application): Which of the reflection questions in this email are you most tempted to leave unasked right now? What is one practical step you can take this week to create space for reflection, prayer, and honest self-examination?