For the past few months I’ve been meeting with a younger man who is fighting to save his marriage and family. The heartbreaking way spiritual warfare has ravaged younger men makes my blood boil. I’ll delve into spiritual warfare next week when we continue our series 70 Things Every Man Needs to Know. This week, I want to focus on younger men.

I often wonder how my young life would have continued to spiral if it hadn’t been for Jim. As I wrote in How God Makes Men, Jim saw something in me that I didn’t see in myself. What really got me was that he believed in me more than I believed in myself. He spoke words of encouragement that I’d never heard before, and it unchained something inside me. He gave me a vision and started me down a path to become the man God created me to be—the man I wanted to be.

Today, more people are talking about the need to help younger men than I can remember. Help exists—but it isn’t reaching them. You yourself may believe in the next generation—but they can’t feel it. It’s time for those of who can help to move from talk to personal action.  

I’m resharing an appeal for action in today’s email to all those who have a heart for younger men who are hurting—and to offer a free resource at the end that will equip you to do something about it.

I realize not every man can take on a new challenge right now, for a lot of reasons. But for those of you who have been looking for—yearning for—a fresh way to serve God and really make a difference, here’s a challenge I want you to prayerfully consider.

The Crisis of Modern Manhood

Look around. We are living in a time when men of all ages—and younger men in particular—are struggling in ways men’s leaders say they have never seen before. That includes both the problems men face and a cascade of problems they cause as a result: loneliness, depression, addiction, divorce, fatherlessness, failure to launch, family tensions. These are not just statistics. These are real men, sons, fathers, and brothers. You very likely see this somewhere in your own family.

And yet, many men assume: Someone else will help him. But from where these young men sit, no one is coming. 

Think about your own life. Was there a man—maybe a coach, a mentor, a pastor, a father, or a friend who—as Jim did for me—poured into you, guided you, and helped you become who you are today? Now, consider if that man had been too busy—if he had said, “Not my problem.” And ask yourself: Are you that man for someone else?

The Reasons We Offer—and the Stakes

Most men know that investing in others is important, but only few act. Why? Here are a few possible reasons:

• “I’m too busy.” Yet we find time for golf, TV, scrolling through our phones, and hobbies.
• “I don’t know enough.” But did you know everything when you became a husband or father? You figured it out as you went.
• “No one ever invested in me.” That’s exactly why you should invest in someone else—so the next generation won’t have to say the same thing.
• “I’m not perfect.” No one is. Younger men don’t need perfect mentors; they need real men who are willing to walk alongside them.
• “It won’t make a difference.” Tell that to the men—men like me— whose lives have been radically changed because someone took the time to believe in them.

If we’re honest, these aren’t valid reasons. Rather, they are justifications for our inaction, and they are costing men their futures. It is no longer acceptable to care about younger men in principle but not in practice.

I’ll even dare to go one step further: Any mature Christian man not personally engaging younger men should ask if he’s “fighting the good fight” or a draft dodger. 

Such An Amazing Opportunity

Every day, younger men make life-altering decisions—about dating or marriage, faith, work, family, priorities, and integrity. If no one with more experience and earned wisdom is there to guide them, where should they turn for guidance? Social media? Peers who are also feeling lost? A culture that mocks godly manhood?

Imagine a younger man standing at a crossroads. One road leads to strength, purpose, contentment, and a godly life. The other leads to regret, addiction, failure, and wasted years. Who will stand at that crossroads with him?

If not you, then who? If not now, then when? This isn’t about adding another activity to your schedule. It’s about changing the destinies of men and their entire families for generations to come.

But it will also change you.

The Call to Something Greater

Men are wired for purpose. We’re drawn to challenges, and we long to build, protect, and live for something beyond ourselves. It’s why we admire great warriors, leaders, and men of faith.

But too many men today are living small, self-focused lives. We work, we watch, we consume—but we don’t build into the lives of others. And when our time is up, what will we have left behind? A few possessions? A comfortable retirement? A nice golf swing?

Or will we have built other men who will carry our influence for generations?

Brothers, the only legacy that truly lasts is the one built in people.

What It Means to Invest in Another Man

Investing in another man doesn’t mean you have to be a theologian, a counselor, or a spiritual giant. It simply means:

• Be available. A younger man doesn’t need perfection; he needs presence. He needs someone who will listen, challenge, and encourage him.
• Be honest. Share your failures as well as your successes. Younger men don’t need a flawless hero; they need a real example of how to navigate life’s struggles.
• Be intentional. Investing in men doesn’t happen by accident. It happens when you decide that your life is not just about you.
• Be consistent. One conversation is good. A long-term relationship is better. Walk with a younger man through life’s seasons.

It’s not complicated. It can start with a simple conversation, a cup of coffee, a shared experience. What matters is that you take the first step, because somewhere there is a man who needs you.

The Challenge: Who Will You Invest In?

If you made it this far, I know it’s because you really care. But what can you actually do to move the needle? Here’s the plan:

1. IDENTIFY: Who is one man in your life that you can invest in? Think about it for a few minutes. Pray and ask God to show you:

• Maybe it’s a younger man at your church.
• Maybe it’s your son or grandson.
• Maybe it’s a man at work who is struggling.
• Maybe it’s a neighbor or friend who is a new believer.

2. COFFEE: Then take the step—this week. Call or text him and invite him for coffee or lunch. Ask him how he’s doing—and really listen.

3. MEET AGAIN: And when you sense a man would like a mentor, coach, or someone to disciple him, suggest meeting every week or two. Go through something like The Christian Man Coaching Guide: Practical Advice for the Ten Issues Men Say Matter Most. At 34 pages, it covers the main topics on the minds of younger men, and you can download a free copy right now. You have my permission to distribute as many free copies as you want.

Don’t wait for someone else to do it. Take the challenge and be the man who steps up. One cup of coffee can change a man’s world—and the world of everyone around him too.

Always on your side,

Pat

P.S. Who is one man who would love to receive this challenge? Please forward it to him.

P.P.S. Next week: Spiritual warfare for everyday people.

For Reflection and Discussion

1. Who was the man (or men) who invested in you, and how did his influence shape who you are today? Take a moment to reflect on his presence in your life. What would be different today if he hadn’t shown up?
2. What are the real reasons you’re hesitant to invest in another man—and what would it take for you to move past them? Name your resistance. Is it time? Fear? Uncertainty? Then consider what God might say in response to that reason.
3. Who is one man God may be calling you to walk alongside—and what’s one action you can take in the next 7 days to initiate that relationship? Don’t wait until you feel ready. Write down a name, and make a move. A simple call or coffee invitation could change an entire family and leave an eternal legacy. Download the Coaching Guide.