If I could only make one observation about how men are doing, I would say, “Men are tired.” Physically tired, yes, but also emotionally, relationally, digitally, psychologically, and financially tired—exhausted by the pace of a culture that requires more energy than they have to give.

Rest Neglect

Here’s the thing. While that’s my observation today, I first started making this statement in the 1980s. Since then, the pace of life has only increased with the explosion of the internet, cell phones, social media, AI, and so on. Gandhi said it well: “There is more to life than increasing its speed.”

It’s true that some men need to learn the value of hard work, but perhaps more of us need to learn the value of rest. In fact, I would argue that rest—#55 on my list of 70 things every man needs to know—is actually a biblical mandate.

A Biblically Rhythmic Life

No one worked harder or served people more than Jesus, but He also prioritized rest. Luke 5:16 tells us, “But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed” (emphasis added).

Rest is integral to leading a biblically rhythmic life. That’s the example Jesus set. It’s also a highly neglected priority.

If you lead or disciple other men, you will likely have to teach them—and yourself—how to rest. But it’s critical to your ministry. Jesus didn’t say, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you more work to do.” He said, “… and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28, emphasis added).

When a man comes to church, a small group or an outreach event, he’s not looking for more work to do. Men come to church because they’re tired—often worn out from the rat race that I wrote about last week. Jesus offers—make that, promises—them rest. Make sure you deliver what Jesus promised.

Practical Ways to Help Men Reset

First, if a man feels like he’s working all the time, or if his family feels like he is, give him permission to not work sixty hours a week. God will provide. A lot of men never feel like they are doing enough to make money. They don’t have enough faith to trust God and rest. Challenge these men to put God’s Word to the test.

Second, teach and model for them that the most restorative way to rest is spending time with God (see the previous Weekly Wisdom on private devotions).

Third, I think every man needs an hour or two a day to himself to recharge. This might include a visit to the gym, a hobby, a sport, reading a book, a date, a movie or board games with family, or watching television.

Some men never feel like they are doing enough to serve God. They are riddled with guilt. Tell them, “It’s okay just to come and sit when that’s what you need to do.”

A quote often attributed to Leonardo da Vinci goes like this: “Every now and then go away, have a little relaxation, for when you come back to your work your judgment will be surer.”

Sabbath: A Special Category of Rest

For some of us hard chargers, rest really requires an act of discipline. It’s not our natural inclination or response. We’re more comfortable working, producing, and involved in activity. Yet God thought that resting one day a week was important enough to include in the Ten Commandments of His moral law. Here are four things to note about what we refer to as “the Sabbath”:
The Sabbath is integral to orthodox Christianity. It is included in the Ten Commandments—arguably the most important piece of legislation ever recorded. They helped form the foundation of Western culture.
The Sabbath expresses our trust in God’s provision. Our obedience communicates that our faith is in God—not in ourselves. By resting we say, “I believe God will take care of me. I don’t always have to be scrambling. I can trust Him.”
The Sabbath protects us from ourselves. Many years ago it was said that when Frenchmen in Paris stopped observing the Sabbath, suicide rates increased. During that time, the suicide rate in Paris reportedly became the highest of any city in the Christianized world. Constant work will wear us down, put us on edge, and make us unbalanced.
The Sabbath is badly misunderstood, often abused, and frequently neglected. Whether it’s working, mowing, shopping, or back-to-back chores, many men don’t relax on the weekends. And many of those who do relax leave God out of this day of recreation, often ignoring their families as well.
If you feel you can’t get by without working on the Sabbath, you may want to ask yourself, “Am I trusting God? If not, what am I afraid of?”

A Personal Plan

If you don’t feel like you’re leading a biblically rhythmic life, how much does “rest neglect” explain it for you?

While it’s fresh on your mind, sketch out what you’re already doing, along with anything you want to add or do differently.

DAILY RHYTHMS:

MORNINGS: ______________________

For example, I get up early—a couple of hours before my wife (and children before they left for college). I grind coffee beans and brew coffee, a pleasurable routine. I stretch. I have private devotions including Bible reading, meditation, and prayer. Sometimes I sing to myself.

BREAKS: _________________________

Since my office is over our garage, I come down for a snack and check in with my wife to see how her day is going.

LUNCH: __________________________

I try to have lunch with different friends about once a week. On other days, I don’t take long for lunch, but I intentionally try not to think about work so that it’s a genuine break.

EVENINGS: _______________________

Because I read, write, and talk to people who are struggling with various things during the day, I simply don’t have the bandwidth to do any more reading in the evenings. So, I watch TV—admittedly too much TV. I walk on a treadmill 3 or 4 times a week while watching—30 minutes at 15 degrees to keep me prepared for mountain hiking. And I love a good cigar.

WEEKLY RHTHYMS: ________________

When the weather is cool or cold, I hike. I use hiking and camping as spiritual retreats. I activate by working through six rote prayers that I’ve developed over the years. It’s normal for me to be in the middle of a prayer and veer off on a rabbit trail for ten or more minutes before moving to the next sentence or words in my prayers. In fact, it’s not uncommon for me to say the final amen three or four hours later as I come back to the trailhead where I parked.

SABBATH: ________________________

I use Sundays for church, family time, and relaxing. Sometimes I work if I have a publishing deadline, but that’s not the norm. Some people I’ve met who must work on Sundays have turned another day of the week into their Sabbath.

RETREATS: _______________________

I like to get away monthly. The plan (not always but usually) is to go camping with my wife in our travel trailer, or for me to go solo on a backpacking trip.

How about you? While it’s fresh on your mind, sketch out what you’re already doing and anything you want to add or do differently.

Rest will reward you with the (nearly indescribable!) peace and joy of walking in the power and presence of Jesus.

On your side,
Pat

Reflection and Discussion

Take a few moments to think through specific ways you can make rest one of your biblical priorities. Once you’ve jotted some ideas down on paper or a note in your phone, consider discussing them with a friend or small group. Here are those specific categories again that you can use as an outline:

DAILY RHYTHMS
MORNINGS:
BREAKS:
LUNCH:
EVENINGS:
WEEKLY RYTHYMS:
SABBATH:
RETREATS:
OTHER:

P.S. Who is one person who might appreciate thinking and talking about how to make rest a higher priority? Please forward this to them.

P.P.S. Next week we’ll slide all the way to the other end of the spectrum and discuss how you can find deep joy and fulfillment by serving God.