Once, I was wallowing in self-pity and my wife said, “You would be a lot happier if you stopped focusing on yourself and found someone you can serve.” Instantly, that clicked.

I jumped in my car and drove over to an under-resourced ministry I was already familiar with and asked, “Is there something I can do around here to help?” They put me to work, the cloud lifted, and that was that.

Serving God is its own reward. In fact, D. L. Moody said, “The reward of service is more service.”

God wants every believer to have a personal ministry; Paul wrote: “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10). God has a particular task, good work, or personal ministry for each of us, based on the spiritual gifts He has given us. (Use this Spiritual Gifts Assessment Tool to help you discover or revisit your gifts).

Our two principal ways of serving God are through 1) redemptive tasks to build the Kingdom (see Matthew 28:18–20, often called “the Great Commission) and 2) cultural tasks to tend the culture (see Genesis 1:28, ”the Cultural Mandate”).

Most of us will spend 80 percent of our time (or more) tending the culture through our families, friends, work, civic duties, and community life. Some of us will have more opportunity than others to share our faith at work, but all of us can demonstrate the reality and relevance of Jesus through the way we work. As someone said, “Preach the gospel at all times; when necessary, use words.”

Most Christian men have it in their hearts to engage in service—#56 on my list of 70 things every man needs to know. They just need someone to explain what that might look like. Here are seven areas where you can develop a personal ministry:

1. Friends

A personal ministry often begins not with strangers, but with the men God has already placed in your life. And if you’re part of the 50% of all men who are not married, friendships will be your primary community. Spiritually invest in those friendships.

Pray regularly for your closest friends. Initiate conversations about life, faith, and purpose. Start a weekly breakfast, coffee, or lunch where men can talk honestly about their lives and spiritual journeys. Offer encouragement when a friend is struggling. Celebrate when a friend succeeds. Invite friends to join you at church, a Bible study, or a service project.

2. Family

If you’re part of the 50% of men who are married—or 60% of men with children—your family is your first and top priority in ministry. No amount of ministry success elsewhere can ever justify neglecting your family. Family first. No exceptions.

Discipling your own family is a powerful personal ministry. Here are a few ideas: Pray together before meals. Have a fifteen-minute daily devotion three or four days a week during the school year. Pray for your children daily (you may be the only person in the whole world praying for your children on a regular basis). Consider paying your kids to do private devotions. Use the honor system and make them keep track over a period of months. And after God, but before all others, make your wife your top priority.

SPECIAL NOTE: When someone in your family struggles—financially, emotionally, and/or spiritually—God calls you to help restore their stability and dignity. Scripture makes clear that caring for your own household is not optional; rather, it is a necessary expression of authentic faith. 1 Timothy 5:8 echoes all of Scripture: “If anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith.” Your family is your first ministry, and God has called and appointed you to help family members back onto their feet.

3. Faith Community

The next place to engage in ministry, if you can, is in a local church. Most men will find an outlet for their spiritual gifts and service in the church. If you aren’t currently attending a church, I invite you to read my article The Beauty, Voice, and Necessity of the Church.

4. Work

When you’re working, be sensitive for opportunities to care for people. Be excellent, and act with integrity. The people who surround you on a daily basis will decide if Christianity is true or not based on how you work when you think no one is looking. Francis Schaeffer said, “If you do your work well, you will have a chance to speak.” You may then use that “chance to speak” to take a more active role, such as teaching or organizing a Bible study at your office before work or during lunch.

5. Community

God has placed you in your community for a purpose. Not sure how to serve Him? Use your imagination! Start a community-wide annual prayer breakfast. Consider becoming foster parents. Dedicate your home to Christ and open it up for a Bible study group. Organize a neighborhood Christmas party and share your personal testimony. Serve dinners to homeless people at your local shelter on Thanksgiving or Christmas.

6. Across Culture

Get to know people who have different racial, ethnic, cultural, or socioeconomic backgrounds than you. If you aren’t sure where to start, take “The Three-Week Reconciliation Challenge.” Invite someone to have breakfast, lunch, or coffee once a week for three weeks. Learn about each other’s families, work, and interests. Share where each of you are on your spiritual journey. If a friendship is forming, continue spending time together, and include your families. Relationship is powerful; it takes away apathy and anger, it dispels myths, and it quells fears.

7. World

Look for ways to participate in God’s global mission. Have a missionary family stay at your home during the church’s missions conference. Pray for missionaries using a globe. Write to missionaries and support them financially. Send care packages for their children’s birthdays. Take a mission trip if you can to serve others, and ask God to expand your vision and make you more sensitive to how He’s moving in hearts and communities all over the world.

As you can see, serving God is meant to be a lifestyle. Many men wait for a dramatic calling before they begin thinking about a personal ministry. But most of the time God’s call is much simpler: See a need and meet it. As I heard a rural pastor say one day, ‘God works through the present and willing, not the absent and able.”

And the irony is: When you give a blessing, you almost always receive more than you gave in joy and satisfaction.

On your side,

Pat

P.S. Who is one person you think would like to know more about how to serve God? Please forward this article to them. Thank you.

P.P.S. Next week we’ll talk about sex from a man’s perspective.

Reflection and Discussion

• Reflection (Heart): Where in your life do you most need the perspective that comes from serving someone else?
• Understanding (Head): According to Ephesians 2:10, what does it mean that God prepared good works in advance for you to do?
• Application (Hands): In which of these seven arenas—friends, family, faith community, work, community, across culture, or the world—can you take one practical step to serve in the coming days?